Damn. Leave for a couple of months and everything gets changed on me. Took one look and finally decided it wasn't my computer loading things in wrong.
Seeing as I have an uncanny habit of posting one of these every few months (almost a damn year between this and the last one), I suppose I'll reassure you all that I will go through the deviations, once used to the way shit works now, and that I'll attempt to be on more in the coming weeks, or however life sees fit.
Ah, another thing; life. Since I've not gotten to reading any of your more recent journals, I'm going to assume that life has gone well for some of you, 50/50 for others, and has totally trampled the rest like a stampeed of raging heardbeasts. For myself, I can't even say that the fact that I'm alive is a good reason to be living. Of late I've had more stress related physical problems than God has time. And to make that matter worse, I'm not seeing a physician about it because that'll start a chain reaction which will make everything that much more sour, including the original stress related problems.
I will say that I've not been a complete idiot and not totally strayed away from some medical help when hospitalized for a severe asthma attack (which finally got my father to admit I had a form of asthma) that could've easily ended this one. On a somewhat ironic note, the attack was from me not slowing myself down in exercising, of which I was doing to releave stress.
In more family news, the deterioration of a relationship between my father and I is all but complete, and whether he realizes such; I couldn't care less. About the afore mentioned hospital trip, he so lovingly called a "mistake" and said "you won't be going to a hospital unless its serious". I don't know about you, but I think that case was serious enough as it was, and he, of all people, should take into account the innumeral times that I should have gone to the hospital and didn't while, also, considering the fact that it's in my genes to exert energy to the point of death.
To add to the issues that have been arising, I've become employed, gotten a permit, and have spent the past months watching the deterioration of my surviving grandfather. The first two don't sound that bad, do they? Well, when used for a control over a situation that needs not control they are both rather, and very, annoying. The last one has had obvious effects. It is most difficult to the highest degree to see a once strong man reduced by such ailing and terminal illnesses.
Surprisingly enough there is coming some good out of this pathetic excuse of an existence of which I've reached. Here in just fourteen days will be the second anniversary for my gf and I. And I for one am ecstatic about it. For once, I can actually see some good possibilities, and am presented with something to live for with the knowledge that it is going to work out.
Now that I've ranted enough on here, any one that wants to vent or rant, by all means toss a note, or, yell in the direction of myspace.com/de_pisica_sangera.